So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Sober January is a disaster.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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