thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She's the barista slut.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
