is your mom at the bar?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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