found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
