I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
