I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
