On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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