I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just gift wrapped bread.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
