yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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