Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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