She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
