and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
