Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
