Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
