sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
