were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
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the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
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That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize