I haven't been this sober since birth.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
