quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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