Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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