Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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