What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
