So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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