omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
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3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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