It's like God shit irony all over that family
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
