I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
