What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
