and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
