I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
