Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
