did you get engaged???
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
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I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
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She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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