Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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