Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The beer is more important than you right now.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
