Pappa wants mamma naked
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
