5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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