She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
