On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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