Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
