what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
