It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
