so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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