then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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