11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
