When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
