Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
