I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
This house was built for laser tag.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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