there was a trapeze. enough said
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
