Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize