Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
