Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Everything about him screamed your future.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
