I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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