i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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