He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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