A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
ugly people sure do ruin things
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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