I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
