So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Quick, to the slutcave!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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