Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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