after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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