I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
